🔄 Resetting Without Shame

🎯 Special Edition Focus

Today, we’re officially wrapping up Q1. If you're anything like most people, January began with hope and big intentions. Maybe you set goals, made plans, or chose a "theme for the year." But three months later, the shine has likely worn off. Some goals may have stalled. Some wins were smaller than you imagined. Others never made it off the starting block.

That’s okay. Truly. Because here's the truth:

Growth isn’t linear. Motivation isn’t constant. And life doesn’t follow our perfectly planned timelines.

That doesn’t mean you failed. It means you're human.

🔄 In Q1, we explored intention-setting, clarified our vision, and planted the seeds for intentional growth. Now, as we head into Q2, we’ll start shifting our focus to building momentum. One of the most powerful ways to prepare for the next sprint of action is to reset.

This special edition newsletter will walk through how to mentally and emotionally reset — not with guilt, but with grace — so you can move forward with clarity, energy, and purpose. We'll close out Q1 not by obsessing over what didn’t happen, but by preparing to show up with fresh intention in Q2.

Let’s begin.

The Psychology of a Reset

Resetting is the structured, intentional practice of beginning again. But it’s not just about changing your calendar or writing new goals. Resetting starts in the mind.

According to recent psychological research, one of the biggest blockers to resetting is identity. When you interpret a failed effort as a reflection of your worth — “I didn’t follow through on my goals, therefore I’m unreliable” — you undermine your own motivation. A 2022 study found that individuals with fixed mindsets were more likely to internalize failure as identity-based, whereas those with growth mindsets were more likely to treat failure as feedback and maintain motivation.

But looking back at previous weeks, when you adopt a growth mindset failure becomes data. A missed target isn’t a verdict on who you are; it’s a signal to adjust strategy. Research shows that people who reset their self-talk (“I didn’t make progress yet”) stay more engaged, bounce back faster, and pursue more ambitious goals over time.

✅ Key Takeaway: Resetting doesn’t mean you’re starting over from scratch. It means you’re starting again from experience. Resetting is not quitting. It’s choosing to re-align effort with wisdom gained.

Why We Struggle to Reset

I’ll be honest resetting used to feel like failure to me.

I’m a perfectionist by nature. For years, I held myself to impossibly high standards. If I missed one day on a streak, skipped a workout, or didn’t execute a plan exactly as envisioned, I’d spiral. The voice in my head would say, “See? You always fall off. Why even bother restarting?” One example stands out.

In 2022, I set a goal to get healthier after a medical check-up. I went all in: gym 4–5 times a week, weights, cardio, stretching, you name it. For nearly six months, I was consistent.

Then I caught the flu and was out of commission for about two weeks, and I never fully recovered momentum. I struggled the rest of the year to get back on track. Every time I tried to push myself to exercise, I hit a wall of resistance because believed the break invalidated all the progress.

Since then, I’ve learned a better way. Inspired by Atomic Habits, I reframed what "success" meant. My new rule? On tough days, I just have to walk for 15 minutes striving to never miss more than two days in a row. That’s it. No hardcore gym sessions or expectations about what to do - just motion. Nine times out of ten, I do more. But because the bar is low enough to step over, I start. And just getting started is the majority of the battle.

That’s what a reset does: it lowers the barrier to re-entry. It makes it easier to begin again.

➡️ Have you ever let one setback derail weeks or months of progress? What mindset shift might help you start again?

The Science of Resetting

Resetting is the structured, intentional act of beginning again not from scratch, but from experience. It’s a way of turning the page, mentally and emotionally, to shift out of self-judgment and back into forward motion.

Whether prompted by a goal that fizzled out or simply a change in season, resetting offers a chance to realign with your values, regain clarity, and re-engage with purpose. It’s not about erasing what came before; it’s about using what you’ve learned to restart more wisely.

Resetting works because it engages multiple systems:

• Psychologically, it allows us to detach identity from outcome and maintain motivation.

• Emotionally, it creates space to process disappointment and renew hope.

• Physiologically, it helps us recover from stress and regulate energy.

• Behaviorally, it encourages us to take small, consistent action again.

Here’s what the science says:

🧠 Mindset matters: Viewing failure as temporary fuels better recovery.
❤️ Self-compassion boosts motivation: People who are kind to themselves after setbacks are more likely to improve performance later.
🧘 The body needs recovery: Techniques like breath work, rest, and exercise help reset your nervous system and boost resilience.
📅 Temporal landmarks motivate action: Starting fresh on a Monday or new month can boost motivation — it’s called the “Fresh Start Effect.”

Resetting is not a sign of weakness; it’s a proven strategy for sustainable growth.

Your Reset Ritual

Resetting isn’t always so simple and often times, it’s easy to find yourself ruminating over the same situation or setback. In the same way athletes have rituals to reset before they need to take action (e.g., the way they tie their shoes, walk up to the free throw line, position the ball for a penalty kick, etc.), we too can build rituals that prompt the reset process. Here’s a simple framework you can use to reset anytime:

1. 🤔 Reflect: What worked? What didn’t? What did you learn?

2. 💨 Release: Let go of guilt, self-judgment, or unrealistic expectations.

3. ⚓️ Re-anchor: Reconnect with your North Star. Ask yourself: “What matters most to me right now?” or “Why is this goal important?” Align your next steps with your core values.

4. 📷 Reframe: Ask, “What’s my next right step given what I know now?”

5. 🏁Re-engage: Choose one small, meaningful action to take today.

You don’t need to map your entire life. You just need to reconnect with your “why” and take one intentional step.

✨ For example: Light a candle, stretch for 60 seconds, or write one thing you’re proud of. Let this moment be your restart.

Essential Reading

Looking to dive deeper into the themes of growth, failure, and renewal? Here are a few books and articles that can support your reset journey:

• Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff — A foundational book on treating yourself with kindness and why it's key to resilience and motivation.

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown — Explores how embracing our flaws and setbacks leads to a more wholehearted, resilient life.

• Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done by Jon Acuff — A practical, humorous look at how to overcome perfectionism and follow through on your goals.

• The Fresh Start Effect by Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, and Jason Riis — The original research paper on why certain temporal landmarks boost our motivation to change.

• The Secret To Starting Over by Danyell (Danny-J) Johnson — A compelling TEDx talk that delves into the challenges and strategies of beginning anew.​

📝 This Week’s Challenge

💭 Reflection Prompt: What’s one thing you need to let go of from Q1, and what’s one small step you’re willing to take in Q2?

📅 Next Week’s Preview

You can’t go back and change Q1. But you can decide how Q2 begins. You are allowed to reset. You are allowed to try again. And you are allowed to do so gently.

Because the magic isn’t in the perfect plan. It’s in the decision to keep going, imperfectly but intentionally. So, what would it look like to reset this week? Not overhaul. Not optimize.

Let’s choose to begin again 💪

Like what you’re reading?

💬 In the spirit of continuous improvement, we’re also going to look for opportunities to refine our content so that it’s delivering the most value for you! If there’s anything you’d like to see, drop a comment and share your thoughts!

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About Kevin

Kevin Earl Tan helps people to design their lives through evidence-based coaching and systems thinking. He is pursuing his International Coaching Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach (ACC) certification. Kevin combines academic insights from his Masters in Human Resources from the University of Southern California along with practical application from 10+ years in change management and leadership to make behavior change simple and approachable.